I generally like the idea of a New Year’s Resolution, but since 80% of people give up on their resolution and most as soon as February, clearly it's not serving it's purpose.
One of the challenges is that it's a resolution, not a plan or process to reach a goal. The huge failure rate is because most people don't know how to build the habits of change into their lives.
The number one question you need to ask yourself when setting a New Year’s Resolution is:
Why do you want to do this?
Understanding why this is important to you allows you to begin to ask yourself what it would feel like to achieve that goal. What would you notice is different?
This is where you find your intrinsic motivation for setting your resolution. Take the time to write down your answer and review it regularly. You can even create a collage or post an image somewhere that can help repeatedly remind you of why this is important and what it would feel like achieving this goal.
Seeing this image regularly allows your mind to visualize this new identity. Put it on your desk if you want to be more productive so you can earn that promotion to have the financial stability to take your family on vacation or post it on your fridge if you want to eat healthier to be able to play with your grandchildren as they grow up.
Building a Tiny Habit
Starting with small habits is how you build a sustainable process to break beyond the January “New Year. New You.” motivation.
"Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement. The same way that money multiplies through compound interest, the effects of your habits multiply as you repeat them," author James Clear wrote in his New York Times best seller Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. "Changes that seem small and unimportant at first will compound into remarkable results if you’re willing to stick with them for years.
"For example, if you can get just 1 percent better each day, you’ll end up with results that are nearly 37 times better after one year."
So while it may seem like you are so far from your goal by starting tiny, the fact you can do the small habit with little motivation increases the likelihood that you sustain your desire to change.
I've written about the 7 ways to create new habits and break bad habits to ultimately become a Habit Crusher. In that piece, I offer one of the best methods to help you create a process to change behavior. It is the Tiny Habits® method from Stanford Professor Dr. BJ Fogg.
Habit Selection
The very first step is to select a behavior or habit you want to create to achieve that vision of the future version of you now hanging on the fridge. There are lots of habits you can create to get to where you want to go.
Choose a habit that you would enjoy doing and that you have the ability to make happen. For example, you wouldn't want to pick swimming a lap each morning if you don't have access to a pool, or even worse, if you don't really like swimming but heard it was a good exercise for someone else. Maybe a jog around the block is something you'd enjoy and is more accessible.
Don't listen to what other people say you should be doing. This is a personal experiment that only works for your unique onlyness. Pick a habit that you would enjoy.
Make Your Habit Tiny
Again, make the new habit so small you would do it no matter how unmotivated you are. The number one mistake people make when creating a new habit is making it too big.
Instead of 50 pushups, do 5 or even 1. Instead of reading a chapter of a book, read one page, or just crack open the book. You'll probably do more, but on those low motivation days, you can still crack open the book to keep building that habit pathway in your brain.
In his new book Tiny Habits: Small Changes that Change Everything, Fogg outlines the basic recipe for the Tiny Habits method:
After I... [Anchor Habit]
I will... [New Behavior] and then,
To wire the habit into my brain, I will immediately [Celebrate]
What makes new habits so successful with this method is finding a solid existing habit you already do and using that to prompt your new desired habit. After I brush my teeth in the morning and set the toothbrush down, I will pick up the floss stick and floss one tooth. I'm probably going to do all of them or may just floss the top or bottom row on lower motivation days, or maybe just the one tooth.
Either way, celebrate it. Give yourself a high five, fist bump, boogy dance or even a simple smile. Find a celebration that works for you because each time you celebrate right after your new behavior, you're releasing a little habit forming dopamine in the brain.
Don't Let a Break Stop You
One popular method to building habits is the “don't break the streak" program. The problem is life happens, and we break the streak. That's when people can get discouraged and give up.
Messing up is part of the process. You're actually doing it right when you miss a day or go off course. You learn what derailed you specifically and can use that information to build a stronger system.
Always be kind to yourself when you miss and start back the next week, the next day, the next hour, or right now. Just like that, you are back to building the new habit. The work you had done is still there in your brain waiting to be picked up and strengthened.
This is how you turn that New Year’s Resolution from an 80% failure rate to a process that has been scientifically proven to consistently build new habits and actually affect behavior change.
Why do you want to do this?
Happy New Year!
UPDATE:
Join me and Dr Deborah Teplow from the Institute for Wellness Education for for a free, one-hour look at how to build a system to actually achieve your 2020 New Year’s Resolutions. Watch the recorded workshop here.